Gender-based violence (GBV) includes sexual assault, harassment, stalking, intimate partner violence, and relationship violence.
Supporting folks who have experienced GBV is a crucial part of creating communities that are not permissive of GBV.
There are three criticalpoints in time when we can focus our efforts to the best ways to support survivors of GBV.
Those times are:
Before someone who has survived GBV discloses to us;
When a person who survived GBV first shares with us; and
After someone shares their experience with us.
It is also important that we are talking care of ourselves while supporting others.
Let’s review some ways to do all of these things, and some on- and off-campus resources that can help.
Before a Disclosure
In order for someone to feel comfortable enough to confide in you, they likely need to establish trust and see you as someone who will support them, rather than blame or further disempower them.
Statistically you probably know and interact with many survivors, even if they never disclose their experiences to you. Per the 2019 Johns Hopkins Campus Climate Survey, 37% of women, 13 % of men, and 41% of trans or non-binary people in the undergraduate student body have experienced sexual assault.
What seems like a casual comment to you could re-traumatize a survivor and may decrease the likelihood that they will reach out to you (or anyone else) for the support they deserve.
Here are some considerations that might shape your own language and behaviors that enable someone to want to share this personal experience with you.
Remember that GBV is never the fault of the survivor. Never. No matter where they were, if they were using drugs or alcohol, if they had had sex with the perpetrator before, what they were wearing, how they were dancing, or anything else. It is always, 100% of the time, the fault of the person who chose to interact with another’s body or life without that person’s express permission.
Understand there is no such thing as a “right” way for a person to respond to trauma. No two people react to trauma in the same way. Because of the hormones the human brain releases (adrenalin, cortisol, opioids, and oxytocin) during a traumatic event, survivors may respond in ways that are unexpected to folks who support them or even to survivors themselves.
These hormones can cause numbing effects, feelings of joy and even pleasure, or disconnection. This is the body’s way of surviving the trauma. Some folks may seem upset, but othersmay seem unfazed. Some may be trying to piece events together, and othersmay seem upbeat. All of these are normal and valid ways to respond to trauma and none of these reactions negate the need for support.
When a Disclosure Happens
Let the survivor take the lead.This is arguably the most important thing you can do upon the occasion of a GBV disclosure.
GBV is not something anyone chooses to experience. Being supportive of the choices survivors make (as long as they and others are safe) is paramount towards the regaining of autonomy. Survivors are experts in their own lives, so it is important for them to lead the way and tell you what they need, rather than the other way around.
We can let survivors lead by offering resources, but in a way that makes it clear the decision to reach out (even with your assistance) is up to them. We might do this by saying something like, “I know of a website/hotline/office that might be helpful. Can I send you that info so you have it if you need it?
This approach gives survivors tools, support, and choice.
Letting survivors take the lead can also look like letting folks go at their own pace in regards to healing, talking, and seeking out resources.
Convey that you believe them and that the violence was not their fault. This can look like saying something very direct like:
“I believe you.”
“This was not your fault.”
“I’m sorry this happened.”
After a Disclosure
Continue to care for survivors after they have initially disclosed to you. It’s good to ask how the person how they would like to be supported. Some examples include:
“What would be helpful right now?”
“What do you need today?”
“What can I do to support you?”
“Would it be all right if I checked in with you from time to time? What is the best way to do that?”
Be patient. There is no time limit for healing. Folks may go through periods of feeling really good, but then might have a period of feeling bad again. Healing is cyclical, notlinear.
Taking Care of Yourself While Supporting a Friend
Self-care gives us the fuel we need to continue to help others.
Take care of yourself in order to be able to continue to support others.Schedule time to do something only for you, likeexercise, a favorite show, cooking, crafting, cleaning, a nap, or listening to music.
Set and maintain boundaries. Allow yourself to recognize when you have reached something that is out of your area of comfort or expertise. It is absolutely ok to say to someone:
“I do not know the answer to this.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t talk right now, can we find another time?”
“I can’t do that right now, but let’s reach out to someone else.”
Share resources with survivors when you think they may be better suited to helpthem than you are.It is absolutely ok to loop in others if you are concerned for the safety of someone else or yourself. See the list below for on- and off-campus
If you feel like you need to process your own experiences with a disclosure,you are also welcome to reach out to the resources below for additional support.
There are two types of resources available to those who have experienced GBV: confidential and non-confidential.
While privacy is always at the center of the work of all staff, confidential staffers are able to provide help and support and hold on to the details you share (who, what, where, when) without the requirement of any involvement by staff in the Office of Institutional Equity (OIE).
Those who are non-confidential are required to share some information with OIE and can also provide support. If you are uncertain if a staff member is confidential or not, we invite you to ask them and also consult this list. If faculty and staff are not listed here, they are non-confidential.
Counseling Center: 410-516-8278 (press 1 for the on-call counselor). Serves all full-time undergraduate & graduate students from KSAS, WSE, and Peabody.
Counseling Center Sexual Assault HelpLine: 410-516-7333. Serves all Johns Hopkins students.
Student Health and Wellness Center: 410-516-4784. Serves all full-time, part-time, and visiting undergraduate and graduate students from KSAS, WSE, and Peabody. Serves post-doctoral fellows enrolled in KSAS, WSE, School of Education, and Sheridan Libraries.